I feel that the time has come to project my own inadequacies

okay
i'm ready for someone to love me now.

one more exam
one more "expirimental film"
one more goodbye
and then i'm free
for a few months anyways.


thanks for everyone who put up with me this year.
next year i'll try to be healthier/happier, etc etc.



summer calls for sweet bike rides and roadtrips

july - calgary/california
august - louisianna / ricky comes.

i forgot about livejournal for awhile
that was fun.
i'm trying to forget about alot of things
thats not super fun
usually in order to forget, you gotta re-live.
re-living is shitty.
id never want to be reincarnated.
i'd probably be a worm that would squirm onto the road at a young age.


anyways. i got my record player back and i've been listening to blues rags and hollers by spider, snaker, and little sun.
its probably one of the best records available to the population.

i've also been catching alot of shit lately for things i did when i was fourteen.
i'd like to take this opportunity to tell everyone to get fucked and i've changed.. obviously!

thats about it i guess.

i have another new crush.
it looks promising
but my relationships always end badly



by the way, if i still have any friends it'd be nice to hear from some of you.

i have a new crush, and i'm totally stoked.

i think anyone who reads this should come to the lamplighter on friday!
or richards on richards on saturday!
mmmhmmm!

other then roger being a totally lame douchie and getting pneumonia spring breaks been good to me.

saturday -




sunday -




monday - shopping! no pictures, but i who needs pictures of me shopping?

tuesday - hangouts with reg chase and mikee. <3

today - tj is coming to langley. no bellingham, but tomorrow is the teaparty!


good tines

yet another emotional update :

for the first time in a really long time, someone actually genuinely cares about me.
its been about, well a year.
no.. more then that i'd say.
and i like it, i mean who wouldnt right?
so that parts good.
but what about the other people who say they care but dont really..
lets talk about that for a second shall we!
thats whats really bumming me out lately.
i dont have any good friends other then .. well, he's alot more then a friend.
true friends are something that are hard to come by, i was once told
and i guess its true.
everyones so shitty and selfish lately.
i wish someone would just open their eyes and see me.
not as just like "oh hey its jewell yeah i guess we can sit down with her and have a coffee"
but someone who actually cares
cause i actually do care and no one really notices that.
and it bums me out..


so if you got your mind off getting drunk all the time maybe you'd notice a friend..

speaking of getting drunk, its been about a month or two and i'm not feeling antsy
right now i'm pretty much disgusted with everyones party mentalities
you all want to grow up so fucking fast, and you dont realize that when you think you're being rad and going to a bar or a show or a party you're acting just like every other teenager.. so stop with your fucking elitism.
just because i dont go out and get drunk or high every weekend doesnt mean i'm any less of a person


so fucking join my bowling team
the end.

Liars - Drum's Not Dead
Released 20 February 2006 (20 March in North America)
CD+DVD / LP+DVD - CDSTUMM246 / STUMM246


"There are very few bands around at the moment that possess the kind of wit, imagination and guts to make sure that every time they release a record it sounds nothing like their last. Thank God, then, for Liars" - Pat Long, NME

Drum's Not Dead, the band's third album and the follow up to 2004's They Were Wrong, So We Drowned was partly inspired by a relocation from New York to Berlin. It finds Angus Andrew, Aaron Hemphill and Julian Gross taking another seismic step forward, switching continents and seizing new musical territory. It's also their finest and fullest album to date, shredding all past reference points.

The vinyl and CD release of Drum's Not Dead comes loaded with its own cinematic sister project: a DVD with three film versions of the album. Each film comprises of videos for each of the tracks on the album: that's 36 videos in total. It's an ambitious and groundbreaking expansion of the album format, throwing down the gauntlet for other creatively ambitious bands to follow suit.

Drum's Not Dead marks a major shift for Liars, tracks like "Drum And The Uncomfortable Can" build to a symphonic crescendo of brooding, brutal intensity yet the album ends with "The Other Side of Mt. Heart Attack", the most perversely conventional and unashamedly beautiful Liars track ever written. The calm after the storm, quietly moving and totally unexpected.

"People know we like to change and what's important for us is the challenge," says Angus. "This time around, the challenge was to really try and simplify and be a bit more traditional, which is something a lot of people wouldn't expect. But for me it's more difficult to make a song than it is to make noise."

One album, 12 tracks, 36 films. Every one a winner. And that's no lie.

valentines day was pretty sweet.
even though i didnt hang out with the man
i hung out with my mom and sister, we watched me you and everyone we know
and ate cheesecake and drank ice wine


soo gooood.
the end.

the weekend was alright i guess.
the art show was a pretty lame scene so we went to get sushi
ran into alex and harold and ate with them.
i hope everyone had a good night anyways..


i'm pretty stoked on my valentines day.
we plan a vegan feast and we're going to take it to the park and have a picnic..
it might be pretty cold though.

but i love cuddling and listening to the get up kids.

i made a rad mixtape
so i will share

side a

1) (i make the) product - desperate bicycles
2) 122 hours of fear - le shok
3) a pack of wolves - black eyes
4) an apple - secret mommy
5) art star - yeah yeah yeahs
6) ask - shoplifting
7) black cat - broadcast
8) bloodbeat - patrick wolf
9) cheree - suicide
10) chicken shack - atlas strategic
11) come on! feel the illinoise! - sufjan stevens
12) cotton feilds - leadbelly
13) empty head - they shoot horses dont they?
14) excite bike - glass candy and the shattered theatre
15) factory - black rice
16) freakin at the freakers ball - dr hook
17) friday night saturday morning - nouvelle vauge
18) jealous of your cigarette - hawksley workmen
19) too much to dream last night - electric prunes

side b

1) insect horrorscope - mike patton
2) l.o.v.e. - shoplifting
3) machi no kakera - tujiko noriko
4) mind your own buisness - delta 5
5) outside of the glass - black heart procession
6) piano fire - sparklehorse
7) place unknown - quintron
8) program - silver apples
9) qui est "in" qui est "out" - serge gainsbourg
10) snakes - the winks
11) the good red road - devendra banhart
12) the weight - the band
13) walk the line - dani siciliano
14) whorehoppin' (shit goddamn) - eagles of death metal
15) you're the one - sean wesley wood
16) your church is red - black heart procession
17) yours to keep - teddybears sthlm.





i found really old pictures from 3 summers ago.
i set my christmas tree on fire
and i have the flu.

i just got a picture from my show.





you can see tomas too in the back!

i guess i dont really use this at all.
but id like to take this opportunity to plug this show for all of about 4 people


december 30th
killer...whales!
annabelleemurders
fosterkare
fake shark real horrible
@ candy bar

blah blah
get drunk.
the end.

"That’s why, on the back of a brown paper bag,
He tried another poem,
And he called it “Absolutely Nothing,”
Because that’s what it was really all about,
And he gave himself an A,
And a slash on each damned wrist,
And he hung it on the bathroom door,
Because this time he didn’t think he could reach the kitchen."



i havent left my house in a good 3 weeks.
i miss summer.
and i want to walk.

im jewell.
i'm considerably stubborn and hella young
no please, judge me!
i could lie and say my name is ruby and i am a profound being.
unfortunately ruby is only what his subconcious recognizes me as.
and i'm just you're regular teenaged recluse.

i like bike rides and drinking wine.
listening to mingus and thelonius
fuck that rock n roll shit.
i could lie and say i like trains and buttons and flowers
dancing in the rain and mixtapes and clocks
but those things dont mean anything.
i've never ridden a train i've only chased them
im not a button nor have i had an intimate relationship with one
flowers die
dancing in the rain only gets me wet
clocks just tell time
and mixtapes dont mean anything unless they come from someone i love,
or if i make them for someone i love

i dont like snow, because its cold and wet.
i dont like lack of sleep, because it makes me feel bad.
i could lie and say i dont like distance, scene kids and drugs
but distance helps my imagination,
scene kids make me look better
and drugs make me feel better..
i dont really like people all that much either,
so if i come off as being a bitch
its probably because the sound of your voice makes my iq drop.






You mother fuckin' chickens aint brave enought to say the stuff i say so just tape it shut.